The People’s Court: Bandarmasin, Kalimantan (Borneo)

image

image

Judge: The defendant stands accused of violating his oath to “not eat any western food whilst in Indonesia”, to atone for his McDonald’s sins in Australia

Defense: Your honor, while my client admits that the lunch he ate at a local establishment was fried chicken, it was not actually western food:

  • There were no other westerners in the restaurant;
  • He had not seen a single westerner/backpacker/tourist the entire two days he was in the city of 625,000;
  • In fact, there seems to have so few westerners that have visited the city that EVERYBODY he saw on the street smiled at him and yelled out “Hello Misterrr!”. The teens in the pic above SCREAMED when the defendant said OK when they asked him to take a picture with them, and the kids in the river pic started doing flips when he waved to them from the bridge;
  • The were no western restaurants in town, and no backpacker cafes;
  • Every second food stall & food cart in town served some form of fried chicken, and, indeed, fried chicken can be found in every country in the world;
  • It’s not like the chicken he ordered was called “Ayam (chicken) ala Kentucky”, as was seen on his hotel’s menu;
  • It’s a well know fact that the defendant never eats fried chicken;
  • None of the other customers took his picture in an attempt to capture the “westerner eating in his native habitat”, as has happened to him before while eating western food;
  • The chicken meal was only $2.33, clearly not a western food price;
  • The defendant has eaten approximately 57 meals in Indonesia in the last 22 days, and all have them have been local food. He is obviously committed to his vow.
  • I think we’ve more than shown that the defendant kept his vow and is innocent of the charge. The defense rests.

    Judge: Madame Prosecutor?

    Prosecutor: The restaurant the defendant ate in is called “Texas Chicken – Since 1952”, otherwise known in America as the fast food chain “Church’s Chicken”.

    Courtroom: gasp

    Prosector: The Prosecution rests

    Tim: Phew, I’m glad she didn’t mention the fries or hot fudge sundae I also ordered.


    Posted

    in

    by

    Comments

    Leave a comment