One of the street foods they say you have to eat in Osaka, and something the city is known for, is Takoyaki, or octopus balls (not THOSE kind of balls). There’s tons of places in the busy area selling them, and you usually notice those places because of the lines, or the giant octopus or fish sculptures on the buildings above them

I was clueless & had no idea which one to go to, so just chose the one with the longest line

You get to watch them being made when waiting – it’s a show

The dudes furiously, over-dramatically flip the balls with sticks as they grill them

When ready, they’re served on thin wooden boat thingys, and they’re molten hot in the middle, like a Hot Pocket you’ve microwaved for 2 minutes instead of 1.5 minutes

The ingredients:

• Batter

• Diced octopus

• Tempura scraps

• Pickled ginger

• Green onion 

• Takoyaki sauce (kinda like Worcestershire)

• Green laver (cabbage)

• Shavings of dried bonito

The fear:

I despise mayonnaise. It’s my arch-enemy. I thought Japan would be relatively mayo-free. Nope. And it’s a common thing to drizzle over Takoyaki. Thank the great buddha, you order from a vending machine, and there was a clear “no mayo” option.

The verdict:

I mean, they were good, probably even better when you’re drunk (much like Hot Pockets), but not sure I’d stake my city’s food reputation on it. I was mostly excited not by the taste, but the fact that I showed restraint & didn’t sear the roof of my mouth.